Day 26- Writer’s Block

I’ve been working on the same song for over a month. I’ve explored at least 20 melody lines, a hundred different word pairings, I’ve tried it in 3/4, 4/4, 6/8, even 7/8. It’s been an anthem, a ballad, a rock song, back to a anthem, and now it’s sort of a mixture of all of those. Finally it all came together- all 6 lines.

I’ve sat and stared at the lyrics and played through the chords, but I can’t seem to find a verse that fits. So much of me wants to shove it aside and forget about it. I’m tired of trying to find the words. My head hurts. My eyes are blurring from staring at the blank page. But there’s something about this song. I can’t shake it. It may be just a chorus, but it’s a chorus that plays in my mind all day, every day. It’s begging for the perfect verse to set it up, for a bridge that builds in anticipation until the chorus returns as a monumental exhale.

There are two things about this song that scare me. 1) That I NEVER find the verse. That these 6 lines haunt me for eternity, a constant reminder of my failure to complete them. 2) That I discover these perfect verses and the ideal bridge only to find that the song is really not that great after all. But there is a third possibility; this obscure notion that I really have something here! The song has so much potential. The chorus- it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to write in a worship chorus. It’s beautiful and simple and so, well, beyond me- I hardly feel right taking credit for it.

Now the inspiration is waning and I’m left to my own creative devices. Somehow songwriter’s block seems so much more difficult than plain old writer’s block. I can’t settle for an “ok” verse or a bridge that just “works.” Something about this song is demanding the very best; my very best. All of my fears are screaming that I don’t have it in me, that I should give up. But that’s what this whole 90 day experiment is about, right? Defying my fears, pushing myself beyond my limits, and exploring my creativity and gifts to become all that God made me to be. I don’t know what my next step in this process will be. I’ve never found myself at this point with a song, especially a song that reaches so deep within me. I think that’s what makes it so scary and so exciting- the idea that something truly great may actually lie within me, just waiting to be discovered.